Chloe: When I dream, sometimes I remember how to fly. You just lift one leg, then you lift the other leg, and you're not standing on anything, and you can fly. And then when I wake up I can't remember how to do it any more.
Dream: So?
Chloe: So what I want to know is, when I'm asleep, do I really remember how to fly? And forget how when I wake up? Or am I just dreaming I can fly?
Dream: When you dream, sometimes you remember. When you wake, you always forget.
Chloe: But that's not fair...
Dream: No.Brief Lives
In this week's lesson, it really felt like tango with wings. It was pure tango heaven. My teacher looked at me and said, 'Why don't you dance like this at the milonga?'
And that, my friends, is the fifty-million dollar question. In class lately, I feel like I have wings. I feel centred, present, stable, responsive, light, smooth. But at the milonga, even dancing with my teacher, I am definitely earth-bound!* I miss things, I stumble, my balance is uncertain, the Brain is on guard.
It's like those dreams where you can fly, and then you wake up and you feel like you ought to be able to still do it, but you can't. Or it's like someone's taken my body and switched it for one that doesn't quite fit.
Of course, there are plenty of reasons why it's harder to dance at a milonga than in class. You're surrounded by a press of people on the floor, so that's one extra thing to be aware of. There are people all around who may or may not be watching. A particular problem for me is the worry about what my partner thinks of the way I'm dancing (ssh, Brain). Then there's extra noise and less light, or disorientating light if the venue has disco lights (yep, really). But still. It must be possible to find a place where this stuff doesn't affect you too much.
On a happier note, many thanks to Tangobaby for pointing me at these gorgeous wings. I want a pair to go with every pair of CIF I own! I may have to content myself with a glowy hair thing, though - dancefloors here are chaotic enough without me introducing wings into the equation.
* Not the best choice of words, as a large part of my recent improvement has been down to the work I've done lately on grounding! But you know what I mean.
5 comments:
That's such a nice feeling, when everything is so smooth and effortless, isn't it? I'm glad you had such a wonderful lesson.
I have to admit, I have the opposite feeling: generally I feel like I am working and concentrating (sometimes too much) in class, although it's necessary to absorb what is being taught. It's the milonga time where I feel I am really dancing.
Do you follow with your eyes closed? I know that makes a huge difference for me in cutting out the distractions on the milonga floor and also letting me focus solely on my partner. It makes it much easier for me to pick up subtle leads. And it preserves that feeling of intimacy so you don't really care if anyone is looking at you or not.
Please be sure to let us know when the beautiful tango outfit is coordinated, including CIFs and wings! Pictures, please!
I think dancing socially presents quite different and much more difficult problems from dancing in a class. The task is more varied, more complicated, and less predictable, and the environment you have to do it in is much more demanding and much more stressful. It's just not a similar situation. Especially if the lesson was a private one - was it? (I want to ask who the teacher was, but if you wanted to say that, you would already have done so!)
Actually, having thought it over and drafted a blog post about the subject, the most practical suggestion I can think of is a small glass of wine or a G&T on arrival.
Just the one, though. :)
Hi Tangobaby,
I do close my eyes when I can, but whether I can depends very much on who I'm dancing with. I usually have my eyes open when dancing with my teacher, because he switches between close embrace and open at whim. (Well, I say 'whim', but really I mean 'according to what the music moves him to do'.)
I have some very nice iridiscent blue/purple CIFs that would go very well with wings...
Hi Ms Hedgehog,
Yes, I try to avoid really identifying anyone. If you really want to know, though, I'm happy to tell you off-list, by email or something.
Sadly, alcohol's not an option for me. I often think it might help! I have several friends who always start with a quick drink. Ah well. I figure if I can develop non-alcoholic ways to relax it'll stand me in good stead in the long run. Certainly I'm expecting to spend my first week or so in Buenos Aires scared out of my wits, so it's best if I start working on it now!
Very nice blog you have herre
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